One of the Many Awesome Things About Twitter
Hugh Macleod. @Gapingvoid. Gapingvoid.com
Hugh Macleod. @Gapingvoid. Gapingvoid.com
The best experiences of growth and confidence building has been when I've stepped outside that comfort zone of safety and familiarity. Whether it's been trying to take that leap of faith in trying a new sport, leading an organization or approach someone much more senior and successful than myself - it's been about JFDI and getting past the resistance.
Those two thoughts from Mark Suster and Seth Godin, respectively, are very basic but yet powerful and compelling. There are numerous other analogies that people use and think about but I have found those to connect with me the strongest.
One simply strategy I use to try and accomplish getting outside the comfort zone is the lock-in. I lock-in and commit myself to an engeagement that I have a personal connection with. e.g Signing up for office hours with an individual in Boston. I value that personal connection and opportunity so much that I will not re-neg on the deal and skip out because I know it would both negatively affect both parties. You can employ this when signing up for a conference or a larger event that you might not seem as personal. Once you know someone in particular that you want to meet or catch up with, reach out to him or her and arrange to meet. Now you are in the same situation as the previous example; it would be detrimental to your character and repuatation as well the other person's time to be a no show.
The other mental strategy I try and utilize is to really ask myself, "If you can't go up and talk this person, how are you going to be able to approach anyone else in a similar situation?" "If I can't get up and do this simple 5 minute presentation in front of my peers, when the hell will I ever feel comfortable and confident enough to do it?"
I am by no means perfect but the more times I can JFDI, it should get just a little bit easier the next time. #Momentum
My first Dart Dinner experience was comprised of delicious food in a relaxed setting with a lot of great interesting people. College students, angel investors, entrepreneurs, and vc’s gathered around for some engaging conversation and connecting. All this was due in part to hard work and generosity of Victoria Song at Flybridge (@VictoriaESong) who organizes this premier monthly event. I was grateful to have been given the opportunity to attend despite not being an entrepreneur or mentor but hopefully it won’t be my last J (Victoria is in charge of this invite-only occasion.)
The environment at Dart Dinner is a welcoming and casual one. There are no business card ninjas sweeping through the room looking for customers or partnerships. No one is exclaiming how great their newly founded startup is and then looking for an angel to write a check on the spot. An ROI or metric cannot be generated from this event and rightfully so.
Humility, generosity and authenticity fill the room as people look to re-connect with friends and form new friendships with people from this vibrant community.
I had an amazing time finally getting to spend some quality time with a few people that I have admired but never connected with in person over the past year.
Here are a few tips from a greenhorn perspective. I’d also recommend checking out Billy’s post that contains a much more comprehensive run down.
- Do some research and study up. You’ll probably recognize a few people from their involvement in the community but there are a lot of great people attending the dinner that you won’t have recognized. Do your best to know what company there at to accelerate the introductory process.
- Asking “So how have things been at XYZ?” is a far more engaging question than, “So what do you do?” It will definitely show you care a little more.
- Sit with one person you know but surround yourself with strangers. For me, sitting with a friend at the table really helped me feel more at ease and also facilitated better introductions and greetings.
- Let the conversation flow and be an organic one. I think this is a standard tenet of small talk and conversing with people but just to re-iterate, don’t hijack the conversation.
- Order the BBQ burger if the dinner takes place at the Beehive.
- Follow up. Promptly and sincerely. It is great to finally meet in person with a few great people but to keep the dialogue and interaction going, email or tweet.
- Try your best to make introductions through the night when appropriate. Chances are people won’t be able to get to know everyone in the two hour dinner so try and match people that would provide value to each other.
All in all, the Dart Dinner ranks near the top of my list to learn and connect with some amazing people.
Make sure you get out to one if you haven’t had the chance and to do that be sure to follow Victoria and DartBoston for word on the next one. Hope to see ya there!
There are several ways and combinations people like to determine how good of a network they amassed. “Just how powerful are those business cards now, what have they become?”
Some people pride themselves that their LinkedIn account says 500+ Connections. Others look at the number of Facebook friends, Twitter or Google+ friends/followers they have. More recently, services like Klout and Socmetrics try to make sense of these digital connections and examine your influence and credibility.
I have a tendency to measure the strength of friendships and connections by the number of inbound requests, questions and invitations I receive. Let me explain.
When I attempt to connect with someone of interest I am trying to gain mindshare. (Right now, that mindshare is comprised of who I am, not necessarily what I have done.) I am trying to have that other person remember (maybe only vaguely at first) who I am and how I can be of value to them. Chances are though that they won’t remember me exactly the next time I interact with them but it is a process up to build up to that level.
Most of my great connections and friendships (outside Babson, Delt, lacrosse) have resulted in a persistent combination of communication. tweet (answer), tweet (answer), email, tweet (question), blog comment, quick in person at an event, email follow-up, and hopefully an office hours/phone call/regular interaction.
This takes time and persistence. The daily cold and warm emails that I send out to people I’m interested in don’t lead to an amazing friendship or opportunity right away. Even if those things never come to fruition, I’m confident that both parties learned something and had fun doing it.
Now back to the end goal. I know I have made a lasting impression when the other person contacts me or thinks of me when they want to hang out, needs a volunteer, has a job opportunity or needs advice. When there is an unprompted action without an inquiry (tweet, email, conversation) you know that something has registered in their minds about you. Either your character/personality, skill set/experience or a combination of both has been imprinted in their memory.
I certainly don’t believe that you should go out and hustle for a few days, and then scurry back home to see what lies in your lap. It takes persistent and respectful sacrifice, hustle and creativity. You have to be actively opportunistic.
I will continue to tweet, email and talk to create new a new collection of friends, colleagues and mentors but most importantly, strengthen the ties you already have.
How do you assess the strength of the connections you're making? What tools or mindset do you employ? I’d love to hear them in the comments, via twitter (@ryandawidjan) or via email (ryandawidjan@gmail.com)
This whole school year and summer has been about #gettinginthegame.
What I mean by that is the effort to make the numerous digital connections I have (twitter, email) formed over the past two years real; to extend a firm handshake and look the person in the eye. Sure you can build a personal brand and image online, but in my opinion bridging that digital/physical gap is crucial.
For the last two years I have been a sponge soaking up information through twitter, blog posts, books, podcasts etc. You name it, I consumed it. This was crucial as I was trying to build context around as many individuals as possible within the great Boston community. What startup do they work for, what college did they go to, what VC firm are they at, how /when did they have an exit, who do they communicate most with on Twitter, what unique ideas/words have they coined in blog posts etc.
This effort of reading, following and occasionally interacting allowed me to be an informed fan, but someone sitting on the sidelines watching it all take place. Now, as someone living in the Boston area (Babson student) and working in the Boston tech community (Performable) I needed to hit the streets and truly connect with people. I have had recent success connecting (not networking) and befriending a ton of amazing people within the venture capital, angel and entrepreneurial ecosystem.
The fact that I have had some success #gettinginthegame is more of a reflection on the Boston community and the people within it than it is me.
Here some recent examples, that I’m sure many can relate to.
- Conference organizers from Future Forward (Scott Kirsner), Angel Boot Camp (Jon Pierce)and Techstars allowing students to attend free of charge. Also a big thanks to Flybridge and their StayInMass program.
- Ridiculously successful VC’s, entrepreneurs and leaders being ridiculously approachable if you use patience and the appropriate channels . They have provided amazing feedback, help and guidance despite the fact that right now I couldn’t do too much to repay them. #payitforward
Ty Danco having a ten minute conversation at AngelBC and then intro’ing to me several individuals so that I can learn and work with an angel or angel group.
Bijan Sabet delaying his day to answer a few questions I had, eventually writing a blog post about the experience here.
David Cancel inviting me to a company event during the spring, which would eventually lead to an internship.
Chris Savage and the great crew at Wistia opening their doors and facilitating good times with anyone. Ping pong, movie nights...
The point here is that the list goes on and on, and I definitely know I’m not an isolated case. Despite routinely being the youngest person at some events, I have heard nothing but welcome and invitations to connect. I am grateful for the fact as young, novice and inexperienced as I am, I still can learn and meet with high quality people like this. [All young/college students should get on Twitter as a start]
As this great city and ecosystem continues to grow, I think it is important to retain this spirit of approachability and generosity. The only sustainable way to do this as potential mentors and leaders are getting inundated with requests, is for younger people like me to join the ranks of #payingitforward and doing all we can to help out.
I know that as my collection of colleagues and friends grows here in Boston, I will look to provide introductions, recommendations and advice just as the hundreds of mentors, leaders, entrepreneurs, investors and students have done before me.
I tend to do a lot of reading both offline and online and have had the urge to start sharing with my blog readers some more of what's been on my mind. I usually tweet out online articles/stories that I find interesting or useful and I always list the recently read books I've read at my Goodreads account. I'd encourage you to check both of them out.
Mastering the VC Game - Jeffrey Bussgang
Survival in Auschwitz - Primo Levi
Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle - John Rolfe, Peter Troob
Click - Ori and Rom Brafman
Tom Peters (from his video series, The Little Big Things) -
I really do believe that one of the half dozen keys to success is to out-read the other guy. Read wide, read long, read deep."
Humility is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity with the universe or the divine, and of egolessness. - Wikipedia
Humility is the one quality that draws me most to a "successful" or accomplished (usually older) individual. While I think it is extremely important that all of us practice humility in our daily lives [we all have accomplishments/experiences worth sharing] I find that when an older, wiser individual practices humility in describing themselves, I am immediately more intrigued and connected with the person. An added bonus is when they can share failures or mistakes - It makes them more human.
We all are proud of what we've done and there is always that urge to share those achievements with those around us. We WANT to have people know what we've done, what we're working on and what we envision for the future.
But, when a person explicity and consciously restrains from sharing those things, they instatnly portray themselves as a much more grounded person that we can connect with. While we may already know through word of mouth, their website or their program bio that they have done XYZ, I always get a little put off when someone publicly exclaims they went to an Ivy, graduated X in their class, worked at one of the Big Three consulting firms, founded a startup and then exited for 50m, etc...
Trust me, if your an interesting person I will find out what great things you've done with just a quick little Google, Twitter, LinkedIn "creeping"...you don't have to tell me.
Another way successful people humble themselves in my opinion is just by giving a minute of their time or advice. To have Seth Godin return a quick email, to ask a question to a founder of a Fortune 500 company at a conference, or to just have a small conversation with a successful business person over Twitter is simply mind blowing, for me. Here I am an 18yr "kid" driven to become as intelligent, knowledgeable and successful as I possibly can conversing with giants in their respective industry. I think this a result of more open and accessible communication channels (Twitter, Quora..) but more importantly it is a reflection of these individuals humbling themselves to talk with someone who most likely can't provide them any tangilble/actionable value in the short run.
These numerous interactions with people far older, successful and insightful have shaped me in many ways and I know that as I grow older I will try to replicate these experiences with younger curious and motivated individuals.
Awesome example of humility- John Doerr, a legendary venture capitalist who's responsible for funding some of the world's most important companies (Google, Amazon, Intuit, etc) stating on his company bio:
Eric Schmidt calls John "one of Google's best board members." And Jeff Bezos says, "Doerr (and Kleiner) is the center of gravity in the Internet." John has also been part of several big failures, most famously GO Corporation, chronicled by Jerry Kaplan in the book "Startup". [Emphasis added]
"As a VC he would rather be the enabler and facilitator than the builder or onstage performer. The best VCs are people who tend to get bored working on one business at a time in an in-depth fashion. They are notorious Blackberry addicts, and, because of their hyperactive minds and love for rapid, varied stimulation, have the attention span of someone suffering from attention deficit disorder." - Jeffrey Bussgang Mastering the VC Game
Simply said – “A” players have the ability to bring other “A” players in. B or C teammates or co-workers usually don’t have that ability.
There are countless reasons for A players in the “open market” not to join a specific organization (company, startup, team, club, fraternity, society). The reason not to be involved can range from purely disinterested to a lack of information.
In my experience, all it takes is one or two A players within an organization to be able to reel another A player in. Many times, the prestige/history/financial opportunity of the company or society plays little role into the decision of the prospective individual. [Ex. Startups – Risky, founding team members immensely important, uncertain results financially and career job wise]. It is the personal connection that the prospective A player has that leads him/her to become interested in the organization. That personal connection provides a greater opportunity to properly inform the prospect, clear up any misconceptions and provide more introductions to individuals within the organization.
Most importantly though, the connection to the organizational A players reinforces in the prospect’s mind, “Wow, I could be working with these quality people on meaningful projects every day. This definitely is an opportunity worth pursuing.” People want to be surrounded with people that they admire and connect with, through the good times and bad.
A players want to work and play with fellow A players. Hopefully your company or team already has a few A players in it. If so, the process of bringing in fellow stars should be an easier process so that you can continue to change the world.
Damn, a month since the last post....it was all that studying for finals that kept me away from the computer and internet :) [It did, for a bit]
In my first recap about college, I touched on a lot of the general aspects of college that I had encountered or had to adjust to. Well, here goes a [long] stream of consciousness regarding the following two months worth of experiences.
- I joined [check that, helped found] an on-campus fraternity, Delta Tau Delta. Brief overview: founded in 1858 in West Virginia, now currently has 120 chapters across the country and Babson [IOTA OMICRON] is the most recent. I along with thirty one other friends/teammates/classmates are founding fathers of the Babson chapter and it took a lot of work, some by us but most by the upperclassmen to get this thing official. The first semester was a unique and challenging experience trying to get this significant initiative off the ground but it has served to bring my brothers and I closer together.
Why join? To be perfectly honest, I didn't have one impulse to be a part of Greek life when I arrived on campus but that all changed when I met some of the individuals most responsible for bringing Delta Tau Delta to campus. They were upperclassmen that I greatly admired after talking with them only a few times. They didn't seem like typical "frat" brothers [think Animal House] and they had a much grander and bigger vision for what an on-campus fraternity should be. They were well regarded campus leaders, athletes, students and friends and I decided that I'd invest time/energy/money to learn and grow with these people. I have been extremely satisfied with my decision and now serve as the New Member Educator ("Guide") for the chapter. Later in this long winter break I will be representing Babson and Delta Tau Delta when I attend Future's Quest Leadership Conference in Indianapolis. This is just one of the many experiences and opportunities that have arisen from involvement in the fraternity.
- Added another mentor to my unofficial "Board of Directors". Inspiration - See HBS - "Forget Mentors: Employ a Personal Board of Directors”. This individual works at the college and has played a significant role in guiding me through some decisions in the first semester. I am immensely grateful to have the opportunity to learn and hang out with this individual. The lessons learned and opportunities granted are a testament to the power other people can play in your development.
- College is still about [partly] playing the educational game. As much as I knew it wouldn’t be non-existent it stills plays quite a roll at the university level. THINK BRAIN DUMP. Midterms and finals were all about memorization, recall and regurgitation. I can play the game well but I am frustrated that some of my immensely intelligent and driven classmates are penalized because they can’t memorize and properly form a cash flow statement from scratch. In college, there are certainly more assignments and in class interaction that involve creativity, brainstorming and real insight but the amount of time devoted to learning how to take a test is disappointing.
- Professors make the class, especially if they are required, fundamental classes. As with any educational institution, the faculty will be a quite diverse set of individuals. The classes that I most enjoyed were as a result of two main things: Performance/Understanding (40%) and the professor (60%). A great professor can make a dull, mundane subject alive and understandable. It was funny to say to a friend “oh I really dislike accounting” but then to have them say they “love it” despite both of you grasping the material. With more electives coming up in the short term, I will be extremely diligent in referencing professors with upper-class students.
- Oxymoronic. One of the BIGGEST things that Babson has to offer is a small school atmosphere. I want to know everyone and with 2,000 other students there is always an opportunity to. I am a people person and at Babson or any similarly sized school, the small college culture provides the opportunity to make a lot of meaningful connections with administrators, professors and fellow students. At a school size like this, there really isn’t anyone that you can’t get to if you leverage your network, creativity and wit. The classroom experience in my opinion is far superior as it allows for more human interaction and demands greater accountability.
- Playing the college card is important. It gets you discounts [Qdoba, c’mon Chipotle get with the program, I like you better ;)] and opportunities to attend amazing conferences, Future Forward 2010. FF2010 was held at nearby Wellesley College and brought together top technology, VC and entrepreneurs from Boston and New England. I attended it for free through StayInMA [big shout out of thanks] and I think programs like this can really improve a college student’s exposure to amazing companies and individuals.
- Yes, it’s business school but the curriculum is split 50/50 between business classes and liberal arts. I really enjoy this and have enjoyed the liberal arts offerings. They provide a great outlet for creative thinking and writing. My favorite class was business law as it taught me about business (C-Corp vs S-Corp) but involved more right brain skills as the cases are never clear cut decisions.
Aside: Grades wise I did well and will be on track to make honors but that’s not important to me. As much as “grades don’t matter” the GPA still confirms and/or reaffirms people’s opinions of you and your intelligence/work ethic/dedication. As much as this isn’t ideal, it’s reality. I’m just glad that this number will clear the first hurdle for me with professors, new friends and potential employers so that I can show them the more important things I have to offer as an individual.
Aside#2: My motivation in achieving well in the classroom stemmed from the fact that I wanted to make the discussion of grades a two minute ordeal with the parents once I returned. Had I not done well, the discussion would have been a lot longer. There are far more important things to exchange at this time (hugs, stories).
- Continued to meet great friends that I hope to keep for a lifetime. Slightly embarrassing admission from high school: I never formed that tight inner circle of “great” friends that you would just hang out with on a random night. This was due to my involvement in a “shitload” of extracurricular activities, volunteer opportunities, jobs, athletics and academics. During the latter half of my high school “career”, this mission of becoming the best recruitable student athlete I could be consumed me. I formed an immense number of “good” connections/friendships but lacked that inner circle to fall back on. In all honesty my biggest goal for first semester was practicing how to say no so that I could actually relax and hang out, a behavior I had frowned upon just a short time ago. The benefits of developing a much more balance life have been immense. Having great people around you make any challenge, experience or activity that much better.
- I’m extremely honored to have become a Francis Ouimet Scholarship recipient. The Ouimet Fund is a Massachusetts based scholarship fund that provides financial assistance to young men and women who have worked in the game of golf. They are one of the reasons I am able to attend Babson and based upon the individuals I already know involved with the Fund, I am anxious to meet fellow recipients and alumni.
- The college bubble can something a student easily gets entrapped in (think parties, ready to eat food, no understanding of world matters) but with a few small measures I was able to still retain a grasp of reality. Reading news (NYT business/international/technology) online and a steady stream of blogs kept me culturally literate and somewhat in the know. It’s a really gratifying experience to be able to know what real time reference your professor is making in terms of how it connects to the syllabus/book material. As my previous post stated, I initially struggled to maintain in strong communication with those most important to me outside college. Glad to say that I was proactive about maintaining regular and meaningful communication with those people which has made the recap about the first semester with them a whole lot more enjoyable.
Aside: I really think there should be a semester long coursed offered dealing with cultural literacy. There would be no prescribed curriculum or books. It would be on the back of the professor to decide what news, world topic, individuals, etc to cover. Students would study the recent events but then also study an abbreviated rundown of the history, past ongoings, biography, etc. Will expand upon this in future post as the possibility really intrigues me.
- Lacrosse season is approaching and after a lot of work in the offseason I’m ready to put in a few more weeks worth before the real season begins…although it will be a chilly one early on. First game February 24th…where are my leggings?
- Plans for the summer have begun. My plan is to stay at Babson/Boston area so that I can work and live in the place I love. Currently exploring various options to intern/work at several startups and continue caddying (big network, free golf-what’s better?). Interested in bringing someone aboard your startup that will be driven to learn, grow and “Babsolutely” make the most of the opportunity? Please email me – ryandawidjan@gmail.com or call 508-735-7659
That is all J that I had on my mental radar, later updates may be necessary. Glad to be part of the college experience and am looking forward to the spring. But first, some R+R with family at the holidays. Many blogs posts and book reviews to come shortly.
Have a great holiday and stay warm
